So.. what happens..
Turns out, that losing weight is great. Problem is, I lost alot of muscle mass off my shoulders.
Went for a run with the dog. Dog freaked out, I feel over, dog went backwards at 3000 miles an hour, with his lead tied around my hand.
Now I have a “sub luxed” shoulder – a dislocated shoulder thats not completely out of joint. The doc and the physio cant really understand it. Xrays and ultrasounds show nothing except inflammation.
So, today its off to the doc to get a referral to the specialist. I am in a lot of pain, because from the surgery I cant stomach any “decent” pain killers. Its making me tetchy and grumpy, and making it hard to think straight (yes yes ha ha.. I know thats not all that much of a change 
)
Surgery Update: 1 year today.
June 30 2009, at 10:30 am I was having a laproscopic gastric sleeve operation to help me loose weight.
I had started at 210KG 3 months before, and got down to 180KG on surgery day.
Its now 7 pm, and I would have been in recovery, with nurses and so forth freaking out because my blood pressure was too low.
I didnt know it, but I was leaking from my staples, and would spend the next 6 weeks in hospital, then a further 6 weeks waiting for them to remove stents from my stomach which were causing my much pain and discomfort.
I’ve learned many things in the last year, but one that I am getting my head around now is just how hard it is to not be able to eat. Depression, it seems, is very common post surgery, according to some surveys, because of the profound effect food has on people, and the inability to eat it causes mental stress.
See, an alcoholic doesnt depend on alcohol to fuel their body, they wont die with out it. But someone who cant eat anything, WILL die.. and the brain knows this.. its a primal self preservation thing. Thats not why people get fat though, there are a gazillion reasons for that. But the fact is, there is a point where there is no return.
These days, I can not eat, even if I want to. No matter how much I want a baconator, I cant eat one. I can sniff, but I can not eat. I can not.. no matter how much I want to.. cheat. I cant be like an alcoholic and have a drink.. I just cant.. it doesnt go in.. it cant happen.
This realisation takes awhile, and when it does sink in, its a very hard pill to swallow. Its hard to explain to someone who has not been through the same experience.
Anyway, the upshot is I am now 114kG, and feeling great (apart from a dislocated shoulder). I had sleep apnea, diabetes, hypertension, repeated cellulitis, and goodness knows what else was breaking. I couldnt get life insurance, couldnt fit in a normal size car, couldnt buy clothes, couldnt pee standing up, couldnt get a job, couldnt be a dad or a husband properly, couldnt look after my house, could hardly stand up. I was dead. Now I am alive again.
Anyone who says this surgery shouldnt be funded and available for those who need it should be lined up against the wall and shot. Because thats what they are doing to people they refuse to help.
The Lost Finale.
Well..
There was of course a few things I didnt like all that much, however, after listening to and reading articles about and by the producers/writers I thought it was fantastic.
They said they wanted to “emotionally resolve” the show, and they did that. They answered a few of the mysteries, and still left enough of a mystery so that many things are still mysteries, and will have people pondering them for awhile. The LOST theories websites are exploding with ideas over the last few days. That is why the ending what successful.
best lines:
Sawyer: It doesn’t sound like Jacob said anything about anything.
Hurley: That’s true dude, he’s worse than Yoda.
Sawyer: You all head to the heart of the Island and I’ll get the magic leprechaun out of the well.
Jack to Locke: I’m going to kill you.
Locke: How do you plan to do that.
Jack: Its a surprise. (LOL by Jack)
And the explanation of Everything:
Christian explains: I’m real, you’re real. Everything that has ever happened to you is real. All the people in the church, they’re all real too.
Jack They’re all dead?
Christian: Everyone dies sometime. Some of them before you, some of them long after you.
Jack: Why are they here now?
Christian: There is no now, here.
Jack: Where are we now?
Christian: This is a place that you all made together so you could find one another. The most important time of your life was when you were with these people. That’s why you are all here. No one does it alone Jack. You needed all of them and they needed you. Jack: For what?
Christian: To remember and to let go.
Jack: Kate, she said we were leaving.
Christian: Not leaving, no, moving on.
Jack: Where are we going.
Christian: Lets go find out.
Some people have argued that its a kind of purgatory, but I dont think the symbolism is even that religious, even though they used names like “Christian Shepard” – the mythology is tied up with too many religions, and there is too much time travel involved.
I suspect there is an element of purgatory, and universalism, as well as reincarnation, and multiple universes. Perhaps what happens, the writers suggest, is that in times of extreme we create our own alternate realities in which we work out all the evil and selfishness in our lives, and become better people, and live happily ever after.
I dont really know, but, thats sort of how it seems to me. Which ever way, I think it was fantastic, and a great ride.
Monday nights run
Feeling a bit crook, and have a boil on my chest that looks like a 3rd nipple, but still, managed to do this run.. going again tonight:
Weight Loss photo Comparison
before – 210KG:
Today at 117 KG:
Note:
If you have had gastric surgery and take anti inflammatories (even nurophen) they can WREAK HAVOC with your stomach.
I went for a run, and tripped over the dog.. hurt my back.. a day later was in pain so took some nurophen. 2 days later thought, man, this hurts WORSE, went to the doc, got some voltarin, 2 days later i am virtually crippled (stomach pain like this has a habit of transmitting to other parts of the body, chest, shoulders, back, neck, etc). So after 2 weeks I am still crippled and now have some losec, which should kill the inflammation of the stomach.
DONT DO IT!
(http://www.gummer.co.nz)
Monday nights run map
This is the run for wednesday night:
The bonnevilles, live at the Blues barn (some time ago :P)
click here for bonnevilles stuff:
Breaking the barriers
Hi there folks.. today I broke 120kg.. 119KG. Awesome. I think I was this weight sometime in the late 80′s
If you are considering weight loss surgery, remember one thing, the surgery will NOT stop your mind wanting to eat. Go for a run, do some work, get bored, get emotional, and your brain will say “PIG OUT MAN”.. and your body wont be able to do it.
I’ve been having this struggle now for a few months and its very very hard. I feel a bit like a ex-sex addict who lives in a whore house. Or an alcoholic who works in a bar – the only difference is that I am allowed to eat, I jsut cant eat much, or fast.. its very frustrating and not very satisfying.
RUNNING!
yes, I am.
last night I took the dog for a run, and i ran nearly 2.5 Km.
I havent been able to run for 10 years, and havent been able to run that far for 20 years.
Talk about miracles. I am a bit stiff today, but can still walk. I’ll see if i can last the distance again on friday.
Updated…
Well, I hit 122 KG today, (269lb for you americans, or 19 stone for the Poms..wow, just realise I have gone for 33 stone to 19 stone)
Its really quite amazing, I am now lighter than I have been since I was 20.At high school (13-17), I was between 90 and 110 KG, so its entirely possible I will get to be slimmer than I was at high school.
I still have issues though, my tummy burns sometimes since I stopped taking omprezole, I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to eat a steak or a roast meal, but I cant.
Oh well.. life’s tough eh?
Edit:
According to my diet plugin:
You will reach your goal of 220 lbs on 2010-04-16. (75 days early!)
